SteveAndersen.com

I find it absurd that I feel compelled to say this at all. It is a real commentary on our times. But here is the deal - decorating a Martin Luther statue is, technically, vandalism. You could technically get into trouble, cops, fines, that whole thing. Generally I would hope that any person or institution owning a Martin Luther statue would be cool enough to look the other way and enjoy the humor and good-natured ribbing, but they may not - who is to say? They are probably Lutheran after all, (we are not a people known for our sence of humor) and they could well be what Garrison Keillor calls the “Unhappy Lutherans.” Seriously - I know you want to decorate your local Martin Luther statue (Who doesn’t?) but you must weigh this desire against the likelihood that your penance will be to spend senior year translating Hebrew. Trust me, you don’t want that. Anyway - to be absolutely clear:

First and foremost, this “How to Guide” is not a “How to Guide.” In fact I disavow any knowledge of how to do anything related to a Martin Luther statue, or of any involvement with any of the activities I describe myself participating in.

Further, I can not, nor will I claim any responsibility for anything that you do. If you get hurt or do some damage, or some other undesirable outcome transpires from your following of the instructions I provide - I claim no responsibility. YOU are the one who is responsible for your own actions. Should you choose to follow my instructions, you are fully responsible for any negative outcome. I will however be available to accept kudos and accolades for your work, should it be worthy of such.

To the extent that the information provided here can be applied to the decoration of other forms of statuary, this disclaimer applies to the decoration of those other forms of statuary, as well, and it is not restricted to other stupid things that you do to other statues that are not Martin Luther related. Let me state again - YOU are responsible for anything that you do, no matter where, or what you read about it. I provide you with no guarantee or warrantee of any kind.

Finally, this site is for entertainment purposes only. I cannot be held responsible for any trouble you get yourself into as a result of reading this site. Seriously… have fun, but decorate at your own risk. If you get expelled I will not be able, or even willing, to help you; the same is true, to an even greater extent, for the Hebrew translation thing.

Steve Andersen